That’s the tricky one. I do believe that I passed the stage when I look back into my past, curling into the ball, and cry. But—nothing comes without some but in it—I still do it wrong. So how would you avoid making my mistakes? You don’t. Just don’t. However, I’ll tell you what to expect, or what you may have already experienced but didn't even realize that.
A long time ago—it does feel like an eternity since I was in first grade—I was a very depressed child in the way of every time thinking over what somebody did to hurt me (physically or emotionally) or somebody said. It made me miserable. I didn’t hate those people, no, but I hated myself to the degree where I wanted to change who I was—yeah, we’re back to that story. I looked into my past and did that wrong. I looked into my past and came to the wrong conclusion.
Then what happens next? You think it’s over and you can’t look into the past any differently but here is where you are wrong: growing up we’re looking at old things from a different perspective, the reasoning ending up to be completely different.
Closer to the present time, I started to see my past as an opportunity but...an opportunity for the wrong reason. Instead of seeing my past as an opportunity to achieve things, set those terrible moments as the background to the ladder of success, basically thrive to excellence and a better life, I seeded in my head that I have to prove those people who told me I would become no one, that I’ll end up in prison—yeah, I heard that once—and so on, to prove those people that they are wrong. But THIS is WRONG.
When you look at yourself in the past, you are not focusing on those bad moments, on those bad people you’ve met. Let it go. It’s not the best idea to carry so much luggage. Life is hard. It should be that way. Accept it. Think of your past as the storybook: you open it, read it, and close it. Does it. It’s that easy. Everyone goes through those stages, those steps, it’s just some people get to the last step faster than another. Or maybe I didn’t reach all the steps and there is more to tell. Will see how it goes.
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